Whether you like it or not, the culture you live in has a big impact on how you think. It tells you what you should wear, how you should act, and what makes you happy.
The funny thing is, culture is often wrong about the most important things in life. Take happiness for example. In American culture, we’re taught early on that financial success is the key to happiness.
Disagree?
Think about all the rich and famous people that we idolize. They’re all over TV, news, and magazines.
We watch their privileged lives with envy, thinking how nice it would be to live like them. Nice houses. Luxury cars. Exotic travel. Exclusive parties. Backstage access.
If only we had that much money. That much power or status. Then we’d be living the good life, and we could finally be happy.
Immune to pop culture? Good. Me too. What about something more subtle? The American dream.
We’re told that the ultimate dream is to have a large, beautiful home in a great neighborhood. Two new luxury vehicles. Two children, one boy and one girl. A fluffy animal. A successful career. A model spouse. And a golden retirement.
We spend our entire lives going after those things. And the fact that they’re difficult to achieve causes us to work longer and harder. But does that really make us happier?
Are we going after the right things?
Things we think will make us happy
Here are 3 things our culture says will make us happy.
Getting that next raise or promotion
“As soon as I get promoted, I’ll be happy,” you tell yourself. “I’ll get the respect I deserve at work. And I’ll finally be paid what I’m worth.”
Speaking from experience, it just doesn’t work that way.
I’ve had the promotion to Senior Principal Engineer. The team of 100 people working for me. The 10% raises and $20k stock bonuses.
The respect is nice. But it comes with more responsibility and stress.
The money is nice too. It helped me reach financial independence sooner! There is some truth to money increasing happiness up to a point. Read How Much Money do You Need for Peak Happiness to see where I believe that point is.
The joy of a raise or promotion wears off, though, and just becomes your new baseline. True lasting happiness requires something deeper.
Reaching your net worth goal
“If I had a million dollars, I’d be happy,” you say.
Just like having a larger salary can give us a boost in happiness to a point, so can greater wealth. I showed this as a ‘happiness curve’ in How Much Money do You Need for Peak Happiness.
What you come to realize, though, is that there’s much more to life than money. And although money is a tool that can solve many problems in life, money itself is not the cause of happiness. It’s only an enabler.
Money can make you happier if used correctly.
It can also make you less happy if used incorrectly.
Use it on things that bring long-lasting joy and fulfillment in life.
Buying cool stuff
This is exactly what I mean by using money “incorrectly” when it comes to happiness.
When we buy something cool—new car, clothes, electronics—there is momentary fun and excitement. But these feelings quickly go away. We get used to the new norm, get bored with our latest ‘toy’, and start searching for the next new and shiny thing.
This concept is called the hedonic treadmill. We keep buying more and more, trying to increase happiness, but we end up going nowhere. In fact, as our lifestyle increases it takes more and more expensive items to get the same amount of pleasure as before.
If you find yourself on the hedonic treadmill today, the best thing you can do is get off! Stop trying to find happiness in new stuff. Start seeking happiness in simpler, more meaningful experiences.
Things that actually make us happy
If money and stuff aren’t the answer to happiness, what is?
Here are some simple things we can do weekly, none of which require money.
Walking in the sunshine
Have you ever walked out the door on a bright, sunny day and immediately felt happier?
I feel better every time. And the longer I’ve spent indoors, away from sunlight, the better it feels.
Sunlight is scientifically proven to make people happier. When sunlight enters the optic nerve in your eye, it causes the brain to produce more of the feel-good hormone serotonin. When your skin is exposed to UV rays from the sun, your body produces vitamin D. Vitamin D, in turn, allows for higher levels of serotonin in your body. So your eyes and your skin work together make you happier in the sun!
You can get vitamin D in a pill, of course. And you should in seasons and places where you can’t get enough sunlight each week. But walking in the sunshine has another benefit. Exercise.
Have you ever heard of a runner’s high? A runner’s high comes from the release of endorphins by the brain. Endorphins, also called “happiness hormones”, keep the runner from feeling pain and make them feel euphoric. You can get these same endorphins by walking for as little as 30 minutes.
So yes, walking in the sunshine is a powerful activity to turn your frown upside down.
Talking to a friend or loved one
Having a conversation with someone reduces loneliness and increases happiness.
It can be a person you know or a stranger. But studies show that the greatest happiness comes when you’re with someone you know and like and the conversation is meaningful—not just small talk.
If you think about it, a meaningful conversation will cause you to like that person more and grow closer. So these two findings are interrelated.
Introverted people particularly benefit from deeper, one-on-one conversations and get less out of a surface level chat. Extroverted people tend to be happy talking to anyone.
So if you need a happiness boost, pick up the phone or walk over and talk to someone!
But the benefits aren’t just temporary. Better relationships are associated with better health and a longer life. Talk about lasting effects!
Helping others
Doing something kind for someone else is another way to increase your own happiness.
Research shows that when people donate their time or money to a good cause, another feel-good hormone called oxytocin is released. According to this article, “volunteering weekly is like moving from an income of less than $20k to an income between $75k and $100k”.
Helping other people also gives you a greater sense of purpose in life. This brings longer-term satisfaction than anything money can provide.
Summary
Happiness has more to do with how you live your life than how much money you have. Relationships, health, and generosity are key to long-term fulfillment.
Our culture prioritizes money and what it can do over behaviors and what you can do. It tells us that these things are the root of happiness:
- Getting that next raise or promotion
- Reaching your net worth goal
- Buying cool stuff
There’s nothing wrong with these things. But if you live your entire life prioritizing them, you could miss out on greater happiness that comes from healthy, meaningful things such as:
- Walking in the sunshine
- Talking to a friend or loved one
- Helping others
Are you doing these things? If not, why not start today?
Who knows. A little extra happiness might even help you accomplish some of the financial goals in your life.
If you enjoyed this article, read How Much Money do You Need for Peak Happiness and Debt Can Be Useful or It Can Destroy Your Happiness next.
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